NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR OLD ASS PERFORM!

The Rolling Stones are finding unexpected apathy from fans as the return home to Britain for a concert this weekend. The band, who is the top selling concert band in history, is finding hundreds of their tickets untouched as the prepare for a performance tomorrow. Tickets are being auctioned on Ebay starting for as little as one penny! Also, third party ticket retail outlets are selling the tix at a huge discount.

How mortifying! And I'm not talking about the ticket sales...I'm talking about the fact that their combined age is 249 and they still think they look hot in leather pants. Those losers should have died of overdoses years ago so that we would remember them as skinny-ass British hotties and not shriveled shells of who they once were.