JULIA FAILS TO IMPRESS

Julia Roberts opened on Broadway this week in "Three Days of Rain" with co-stars Paul Rudd and Bradley Cooper. The hopes were high for Roberts' Broadway debut, and although the stars came out in droves to see her, the critics did too, and they were none to pleased. Here is a sampling of some of the raves that she was garnered.

"Your heart goes out to her when she makes her
entrance in the first act and freezes with the unyielding stiffness of an
industrial lamppost, as if to move too much might invite
falling." [NY Times]

"Two and a half hours of Julia
Roberts. One hundred and fifty minutes of tedium...You would think she'd be able
to handle a Southern accent, but her voice wanders all over the 48 contiguous
states, sometimes within the same sentence." [Boston Globe]

"In her Broadway premiere, Julia Robert is awkward
and disappointing in a self-conscious performance that is merely a shadow of her
confidence and charm on film." [AM New York]

"Ultimately, Roberts is unable to flesh out the
indistinct contours of an unsatisfyingly written role." [Variety]

Uhhh....why do we, as a country, pay this woman $20 million a year? She has horse teeth, people, lest we forget.

In more interesting news, Oprah took in the performance and she was looking hot. She won't ever say it, but she hated it too. Woo woo homegirl!