FASHION! TURN TO THE LEFT!

Sunday was the Metropolitan Costume Gala to celebrate British designers. In other words, celebrities and socialites finally have an excuse to wear that ol' $30,000 ballgown that was laying around in the walk-in closet at their country home. Duh!


Jonathan Rhys-Meyer took Tom Cruise's dick out of his ass just long enough to show up with his fag hag dressed in Galliano. All black....I mean, he might as well wear a "I drink jizz" T-shirt.


Sarah Jessica Parker is apparently campaigning for a role as Mary, Queen of Scots by wearing Alexander McQueen's fabric-vomit. Seriously, It looks like Mel Gibson in Braveheart threw up all over her ass. SJP usually walks the line between hot and risky....but this is just fugly.



Mandy Moore has obviously been reading OprahismyHomegirl as she chose to show up in a Peter Som ensemble with pockets as I had reported in my Oscar fashion round-up. She is such a copy-cat. She looks good though. I bet a blind guy would fuck her.


Mary-Kate looking like an alien version of Stevie Nicks in Badgely Mischka...only because those fuckin' whores are the spokes models. Damn, she looks more and more like an anime figurine each week.


Sienna Miller showed up with Christopher Bailey, head of design at Burberry. She looks like Liza Minelli's crack-head sister in this picture. Someone needs to let her know, this event is for couture...not cocaine. Christopher Bailey is fuckable...aka rich and British.

Scarlett Johansson looks stellar in this robe/dress by Stella McCartney. Stella loves to push those titties up to her neck. You can't see, but on the back of the robe there is screenprinting and it looks totally hot. I dig the shoes too.



Ginnifer Goodwin looking frilly and sexy in Marc Jacobs. Good for her! She's kinda come out of her cocoon as a true butterfly. Look at that face! She is totally trying upstage J.Lo...not gonna happen.



Eve looking super-fly in Louis Vuitton. I never tire of those paws....she looks casual and relaxed but still is showing off an amazing dress. She also is balancing being young and sexy with sophistication and class. Loves it!


Ashley looks incredible in Badgely Mischka. This is the kind of dress that can only a skeleton with skin can wear, so of course, she looks amazing. It's hard to remember that she is fucking 19 years old! She totally looks so mature there. She does have a case of "sad eyes" though. You know, when you look so good all over, except your eyes are crying out...help me.... =(

Jessica Alba looks like a fucking vision in Calvin Klein. Thank god she is going solo. I mean, seriously, she is so protective over her virginal image...I can't wait for one of those nips to make a surprise appearance!