OH NO SHE DIDNT!

Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph what the fuck is going on here? Jessica Simpson was seen at an event over the weekend wearing a fucking red wig. She looks a hot mess! The worst part is that she is wearing the wig to promote her new artificial hair line (get it? hairline! ha!). I would rather have cancer or leukemia and go bald from the treatment then ever wear one of those nasty ferrets up on my dome. I bet the wigs are made of pubes or something. God, her stylist must be jumping off a bridge due to embarassment.

She is such a tard, I dont even want to verbally assault her. Just look at her, she's so harmless it's pathetic. And what the fuck is up with her floppy ass titty in that dress. What a disaster.

OH! And by the way Jess, we, the people, notice that everytime you get a little down in the dumps, your lips mysteriously grow in size to that of bloated worms. It's really condescending to think that we don't know that just cause Nick got to release his tell-all article to US Weekly first you run off to the closest doctor with a syrige full of collagen. Bitch.

{story and pic courtesy of The Superficial}