WHAT A LOSER

Loser/Poser/Magician David Blaine wasted a week of his and our time by NOT holding his breath for nine minutes as promised. Divers had to rescue Blaine after only seven minutes. What a fucking failure. I bet his mother spit on him.
Don't get my shit all excited for a whole fucking week sitting in a bubble with wrinkley-ass hands, get my dick all hard with anticipation and when it's time for his symbolic climax....he poops out. I totally used to think this choad was worth a rats ass, despite the fact that he hangs with Leo Dicaptard but now I have to re-think my previous hypothosis. Even David Copperfield made the fucking airplane disappear.

And for those of you are who are like, "Ooh ShitTalker, stop! He still held his breath for 7 minutes"..guess what...FUCK OFF. His JOB as an illusionist is to, if not really hold his breath, create the illusion that he held his breath for 9 lousy minutes. I bet he wishes that no one saved his ass just as much as I do. He's better to the world dead than as a lying magician who can't even pull a rabbit out of his ass....I mean hat.

story courtesy of CNN