Snakes use drugs to deal with disappointing box office results

Oprahismyhomegirl received some disturbing photo's of the overexposed stars of this weekends top film Snakes on a Plane. Although the movie was number one over the weekend, the numbers are considered disappointing by analysts who say that internet buzz and word of mouth should have catapulted the movie into cult film success. It seems that the young break-out stars of the film went on a drug binge at the Roosevelt Hotel this weekend to mend their broken egos.
Absolutely shocking.

P.S. who does coke off of CD covers anymore? That is so high school!

SICK F*CK

John Mark Karr's claims that he slayed JonBenet Ramsey are now coming under question as holes in his story arises. Karr claims that he drugged and raped Ramsey before accidentally killing the young girl. Autopsy reports show no drugs in Ramsey's body at the time of her death. Karr's ex-wife also has come forward saying that she was with him at their home during the time of the murder. Karr also states that he picked up JonBenet from school.

Sadly enough, I have no idea whether this sick-o is the killer or not. It looks like it will still be some time before, if ever, we know the truth about JonBenet.

NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR OLD ASS PERFORM!

The Rolling Stones are finding unexpected apathy from fans as the return home to Britain for a concert this weekend. The band, who is the top selling concert band in history, is finding hundreds of their tickets untouched as the prepare for a performance tomorrow. Tickets are being auctioned on Ebay starting for as little as one penny! Also, third party ticket retail outlets are selling the tix at a huge discount.

How mortifying! And I'm not talking about the ticket sales...I'm talking about the fact that their combined age is 249 and they still think they look hot in leather pants. Those losers should have died of overdoses years ago so that we would remember them as skinny-ass British hotties and not shriveled shells of who they once were.

BUSTED!

Haley Joel Osmond was charged with drunk driving and possession of marijuana yesterday in Los Angeles.

That poor kid! He needs to start hitting the pavement again. I really had hope for this one. I thought he was gonna be the male version of Jodi Foster, but he's just another Corey Haim waiting to happen. You know they are going to make his life story into an ABC Family Movie of the Week.

MEET SEBASTIAN...A CAT WITH GRILLS

This here is Sebastian the cat. His owner, a dentist, gave him a grill for his two bottom teeth. His owner said it was because the teeth were weak and vulnerable because Sebastian had an underbite.That is so wrong. Especially because the cat is black.

Catch Up!

Sorry I have been so lazy these last couple of weeks. Summer is really killing me! Anyways, just thought I would like you up to a couple of crazy events that have happened lately:

Thanks to the incredibly avant garde and terribly hip electro-hotness known as Billion Dollar Brain at Downtown's newest non-alcohol-serving vegan-cookie-selling down-that-shady-alleyway hotspot The Smell. Very hip! Thanks to BDB for hosting such a hot night. Also, thanks to Daniel, the guardian of the alleyway.

John Mark Karr was arrested and charged with the unresolved case of JonBenet Ramsey. Although there are some inconsistencies with his story. I sincerely hope that they get to the bottom of this mystery! This has been ten years coming, man!

Allison was given the boot on last night's episode of Project Runway so that Vincent could continue saying that his designs "get him off" or to tell Laura to "shove those Harry Winston's up your nose". Genius!

LAist does some research to find that the reason that this weekends film Accepted has so many superlatives in it's ad is because, well they found one reviewer who liked the film and the quoted the shit out of him!

MERYL MONDAYS!

I have decided to start doing theme days, and my first one is going be by Meryl Streep Mondays. They are going to be really fun! I know you assholes are super excited. Luckily for me, there is a posting about about her on IMDb:

"Fans who got a sneak preview of Meryl Streep and Kevin Kline's new play were left so unimpressed by the performance, some walked out after just 20 minutes. The Hollywood stars appeared in Bertolt Brecht play Mother Courage And Her Children earlier this week at New York City's Delacorte Theater. But despite many audience-members lining for hours to see the show, some became bored by the production's heavy content. The New York Post reports around 100 members of the 1,892-strong audience left early, with one theatergoer quoted as saying, "Meryl is brilliant, but the play itself is boring, tortuous - it needs judicious cutting. A number of people left after 20 minutes. Many didn't return after intermission and then, three hours in, during a long song by Kevin Kline, they were pouring out." The show's publicist Arlee Kriv insists no cuts will be made to the play: "The show is what it is - a long show." Kline took over the role of The Cook from Christopher Walken, who dropped out last month. "

This just goes to show that New York assholes wouldn't know genius if it sat on a stage in Central Park and jerked off on their faces. That is Meryl fucking Streep and if that bitch sits on stage for three hours, you better believe I would be pissed that the show was that short! Those dumb asses are so uncouth and class-less and a bunch of cocksuckers. But don't worry. You know that the Streep will be sweating and working up their eight nights a week for three-hours. That's the kind of bitch she is.

WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS!?

Wow, that titty is just hanging there like a monster that attached itself to Lindsay's chest.
Seriously, those milders cannot just go flopping around, she needs the control those things. Put on a bra bitch! Those floppers look all sorts of deformed.