SOMEBODY IS CHEATING!

OOOH! It looks like Jake G. is cheating on his LA lover Austin Nichols! Jake is seen here with another dude who is suspiciously good looking while in New York.

I know I keep harping about what a fag he is.....but if he would stop hanging out with guys in situations filled with sexual tension and then getting photographed, well...I wouldn't have much to work with...now would I?

LINDSAY LOHAN IS SO FAKE!

Lindsay Lohan now officially is the youngest person to have a wax scuplture of themselves from Madame Trussauds Wax Museum. You go girl! I love that they even captured the quintessential LiLo hand-on-the-hip pose!

In honor of Lindsay's wax likeness here are a few real life wax sculptures that I would like give a woo woo to:

Wax museum victim one. Terri has openly admitted to injecting anything she can get her hands on to so that her skin is stretched tight as a drum.

Here is Cher. She is about 30,000 years old and thanks to botox, face lifts and the sacrifice of a baby once a month, she looks like a vampire.

Priscilla Presley is 61 years old. She also sleeps in air-tight coffins so that her skin is never exposed to natural factors of decay. Thanks to that, she looks more waxy than the waxy LiLo

And here is the unfortunate tale of Elizabeth Hurley who has so much collagen in her lips her face is frozen in a quasi scare/happy sort of thing. Scary.

JESSICA ALBA HATES FANNY PACKS

Jessica Alba looks none too pleased that her eyeballs have been scorched with the image of this shirtless guy wearing a fanny pack. I mean, her face is priceless. She looks like she is about to hurl.

I bet she talked about it all day, saying that she couldn't believe that someone had the audacity to wear a fanny pack....in 2006 no less!

She should have had her personal assistant kill him, if you ask me.

SIDEKICK III

Apparently T-Mobile has had some difficulty keeping the Sidekick III under wraps! Well to add to the buzz, here are some undisclosed pics that I found online.

It basically looks like a sleek and shinier version of the Sidekick II. Personally, I think it's time for T-Mobile to step it up a notch and redesign. I am waaaay over the Sidekick dynasty and would really appreciate it if they could bring something new to the table.

Here are some rumored upgrades
Upgrades:
Edge/Wi-Fi
Detachable battery
Mini sd card
Music player
Video
Instead of the scroll wheel there is a ball.
It is slimer and no rubber bumpers.
Special catnip storage slot.

MAZEL TOV

NO POSTING TODAY BECAUSE IT IS PASSOVER! HAPPY PASSOVER TO ALL YOU FIDDLERS ON THE ROOF!!!! WOO WOO!

SORRY MISS JACKSON!

I am so sorry Ms. Jackson....for ever saying that you were fat, for doubting that you would make another hot album and have a hot body to match, and for calling your Paddington Bear hat outdated and ugly. You are back, you crazy ass bitch and I am waiting for you and Mariah to go crazy on each other.



I am for real!

A PUBLICISTS FAVORITE TECHNIQUE: DENY DENY DENY

Bloggers have been whispering lately that Jake G. was going to come out sometime this week and admit his love for fellow actor and friend from high school Austin Nichols. Jake's publicist has now come forward to deny deny deny the fuck out of it. I mean look at the pictures above of butch ole' Jake watching basketball with his butt buddy...I bet after watching all those sweaty men run around for hours they TOTALLY did not go home and drink some divine wine in the soft moonlight of a crisp autum evening. I bet they TOTALLY didn't awkwardly touch one another while watching TV, slowly feeling out the possibility of more and more physical contact. I'm sure they TOTALLY did not press their heaving bodies against one another in tipsy ecstasy before making sweet love to one another (sans protection) all night, waking up groggy and refreshed the next morning.

Woah....I SOOOO did not mean to go there.....

ENGAGED!

It was reported that Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard are officially engaged and Maggie is pregnant. Sounds like a shotgun wedding to me!

What if they decided to hyphenate their names and make it the most complicated last name to spell in the history of the universe?

STUDENT EXPELLED FOR BEING GAY!

Student Jason Johnson was expelled from The University of the Cumberlands in Kentuky after he revealed on MySpace that he was gay.

The school has since come under attack and the president has defended his decision by making the statement that students are held a "higher standard"

I am soooooo sure! What standard would that be in Kentucky? Marrying a cousin? People can be so ass backwards!

Read the full article here

STOP MASTURBATING!

Think about it....do you like killing kittens?

GWYNETH IS THE WORST MOTHER EVER!

Well Gwyneth "Ice Princess" Paltrow/Martin and husband Chris Martin welcomed their second child into the world over the weekend.

It's a boy! And his name is Moses. I know, what the fuck? This woman must HATE her kids if she keeps giving them the worst names ever! She really wants the whole world to look down upon her kids as much as she does. It is truly a shame that such an average looking cold hearted snatch like her made it in this world just because her 'rents had the sick hook-up.

How does Chris deal with such a cold hearted snake for a wife? How will he be able to look his children in the eyes when it comes time to answer to their demands...why did you and Mama name us tard-o names?

oy!