LORD OF THE FAGS

Here are some exclusive pictures from the new Lord of the Rings MUSICAL. As if Elijah Wood and that Lost guy weren't queer enough for you, now they are going to sing and dance. This is such pansy shit it makes me sick....and I'm gay!

What the fuck? It opened in Toronto, which makes it the #2 reason why the US hates Canada and considers it a tumor growing on the spleen of Democracy (second only to Celine Dion)

Oy! I don't even know what to say about these pics. Blech!

Speaking of Sally Kirkland...

Ealier this week I posted about how crack-headed Sharon Stone was looking lately. Someone dropped a comment about how she reminded them of Sally Kirkland. Behold, The Kirkland KracKhead above. It is surprising at how sililar the two look. They should play sisters sometime. Poor Sharon, thats like looking into a crystal ball....after taking a hit of crystal meth.

TGIOprah

NUDITY FOR YOUR WEEKEND>>>>>

Damn! I love these pics of Chloe Sevigny! She is so ballsy. I love that she not all anorexic looking and waifish. I also love that she plays this really uptight, micro-managing Mormon on Big Love when in real life, she is totally a free spirit.

I know a lot of my friends hate the way she dresses, so here she is, minus the wild outfits she usually wears.

HOMOS FOR YOUR WEEKEND

Kissy kissy!

Friends of Lovers?

Total Homo

Here are some more incriminating photos of Jake G. with another one if his BF's. Whether BF means Best Friend or BoyFriend...you decide.

And Jesus, look at Queerball Vin Diesel flaming it up for a press conference for the new movie he's in. I don't even know the name of it. Usually I would give it to you, but who am I kidding? You're never gonna see that lame shit.

What

A

Fruitcake

Seriouly, Could Vin look any more flaming in these pics? I like the last one where he tries to get all Shirley Temple and rest his precious face in his hands. I bet he is the bottom.

Snow Has Melted

Yesterday, the US indicted 50 Columbian drug smugglers who ran an extensive cocaine cartel closely linked with a Marxist rebel group.

"We believe these men are responsible for not only manufacturing and exporting devastating amounts of cocaine, but enforcing their criminal regime with violence," the Attorney General, Mr. Gonzales said.

Damn, I bet you Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid are gonna be mighty depressed this weekend. Those bitches haven't seen a coke-free Saturday since Steve Martin was still on SNL.

If I were you and I was out and saw LiLo or Reidtarded, I would steer clear, I bet they are crabby and possibly high on PCP so as not to feel the comedown. Those crazy bitches. Gotta love 'em!

FAG ALERT

This post was found on Craigslist Vancouver, where actor Jason Stratham (above) is filming his latest film.
Hmmmm...

Has anyone else hooked up with Jason Statham this week? - 28
Reply to: pers-144110838@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-03-22, 12:30AM PST

I didn't know who he was at the time, but he's a great cocksucker. Anyone else had him while he was in town this week? Would love to swap stories... or arrange a threeway with him if you've got his contact info. ;)

* this is in or around Yaletown
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


Damn! He is so shady...and I love it. I don't know who the fuck he is, but I'm going to find out right quick!

I HATE TO BE NEGATIVE, BUT....

...what the fuck? Come on Sharon....you look like you're promoting "Interview with the Vampire", not "Basic Instinct II". I am sure her plastic tits look great on film, but come on, Sharon, what the fuck is going on? I told you that I know her pill-popping, plastic surgery obsessed stylist and now I have proof! Whoever is advising the Stone is NOT in their right mind. She looks like Paula Abdul feels....fucked up.

I hate being a negative nelly but...how can I help myself when there is so much material to work with?

HERPES INFESTED CUNT IS YOUR CHILDS ROLEMODEL

Paris Hilton is coming to a cartoon near you...and more importantly, your kids....

What the fuck? This bitch is always drunk, coked up and fucking strangers on video. She takes nude pics of herself on her expensive cell phone, she parties, wears revealing and sexy clothing, serial dates Greek shipping heirs, and is rich for no apparent reason. Lets make a charming little drawing of her to make her MORE appealing to kids. Let's teach our children that being superficial and rich is way better than living a good and simple life.

Look at the rendering above! Even the cartoon version is showing her ass.

Plus the bitch has herpes.
'Nuff said.

FAYE DUNAWAY+CRAZY PHONE MESSAGE=YESSSSS

Here is a transcript of a crazed phone message that Faye Dunaway left on a reporters voicemail. She seems pretty upstet. I told you that bitch was crazy. Keep reading to see just how crazy the Dunaway can get.

VOICEMAIL OPERATOR) "Call received 6:14AM, Thursday, February 27th."
(FAYE DUNAWAY, somewhat calm for two seconds then sounds enraged for the rest of the voicemail) "Yeah Jack, this is Faye Dunaway. Look I've, uh, raced some of the stuff from the O'Neill interview but I'm not really interested in Terry O'Neill He's a BIG, BIG liar and I'm really not interested in in him and you know all and dilly-dallying and carrying over Mommie Dearest I don't even want to DISCUSS it in my interview OR on this Lloyd-Webber thing. Those are NEGATIVE and I notice that you have NOTHING in about Marlon Brandon, you have NOTHING in about Johnny Depp which I did two films with, I don't expect you to get get him for an interview, but you could put some footage in of the of the Christopher Reeveson (?) movie which I was BRILLIANT in and it was not well SOLD in this COUNTRY you can talk about the Marlon Brando film that I was wonderful in. All the POSITIVE things along that that period, the Marlon Brando film was going on at the same time that the Lloyd-Webber STU-PI-DITY was going on and you all have to put in the LLOYD-WEBBER STUPIDITY, you can't put in that I worked with the wonderful Marlon Brando and talk to the director of THAT movie for CHRISTSAKE! And I'm NOT gonna approve it and I'm REALLY upset now because that uh for TWO NIGHTS now tried to thread through that STUPID interview with a with a man that I will not even WASTE MY TIME discussing. And and you know who, suffice it to say, STOPPED working when he married me and PRETENDED to be my manager for a VERY long time so let's not even GO THERE. It's VERY upsetting to me! And then to put my uh OUR child in JEOPARDY the way he has. So I'm not interested in these NEGATIVE things that you all are putting in there with me in! I don't want LLOYD-WEBBER in, I'd like you to cut him OUT, and I'd like you to REALLY trim down E-VE-RY thing to do with that Mommie Dearest, I'M not gonna talk about it, maybe ONE thing I'm gonna say about it and THAT'S ALL. It's just like uh you know an obsession, WHY can't you be obsessed about positive things? About Marlon Brando? About the Christopher Reeveson (?) movie that was the hit of all of Europe and Cannes? About uh, the film I did with Brando and talk to that, ya know?...."

Click here to hear the the message for yourself.

CHER HAS EMERGED

Wow, Cher has emerged from her air-tight coffin to once again expose her flesh to the outside world...and to show her new boyfriend. Where the fuck did she find this freak? He looks like a carnie and 80's acid rock stars love child. Poor Cher, her tired ass forgot what hot guys look like...so now she is stuck with this chump!

Don't forget, assholes, this bitch won an Oscar. Thats more than those Brokeback fags can say.

SOUTH PARK STRIKES BACK

Apparently, the "South Park" guys are not going to back down from the Church of $cientology. Because of their animation techniques, they have already written and are currently shooting an episode that is to be aired next week. In the episode the Chef returns, but the young foul-mouthed troublemakers of the show notice that he seems changed upon his return. The boys then attempt to save the Chef from whatever has enslaved his mind.

Them's is figting words!

BLIND ITEM

It has been reported that a massage therapist abroad is sueing her former employer after she was fired after she complained that a major A-list actor masturbated in front of her and inappropriately touched her while she was attempting to provide theraputic services.

Let's play a guessing game! Who do you think it is?

I will give you all the info I know:

It is a man

He is an A-List actor

He is married (!)

The Incident happened at St. Andrews, a gold resort in Scotland

(regulars include Dennis Quaid, Kevin Costner, Micheal Douglas and Bill Murray)

My guess is Kevin. He's a total sleezeball.

"allegedly"

BOOB JOB ALERT!

I have one question for Miss Kimberly Stewart (Rod's daughter):

Why worry about your titties when your face is all sorts of fugly?

Anyways: I want some comments people

Boob job or push-up bra....you decide!

ISAAC HAYES DID NOT SAY THOSE THINGS!

Apparently, Isaac Hayes, who last week reportedly quit "South Park" because of conflicts of his religion, $cientology, did not quit as originally thought.

Instead, the talented musician and actor suffered a stroke on January 17th. He released that he was in the hospital due to exhaustion and never commented further.

Who, then, put these words into Hayes' mouth? Could the most powerful Hollywood cult and alien lovers have released a press statement for their member?

CHECK THE GUT, KELLY!

Wow...Tara actually looks normal (like she's not completely wasted and 55 years old) compared to Kelly and that God-awful hair and her gut showing through that shirt.

THIS GUY FUCKS ALANIS? HUH?

I mean, for real.
First of all, did anyone even know that RyRen had this taut bod hiding underneath all that character actors chagrin? I had no idea. It's pretty nutso that he does shitty movies like Just Friends and Waiting when the Amish could wash their clothes on his belly.

And, come on, knowing that he looks like that, how long can you honestly give his relationship with Canadas favorite whiner Alanis? She better appreciate that body while she can, I have a feeling that he is going to blow up and be the perfect match for Jennifer Aniston. Genius...right?

I should be a publicist.

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!

So good ole Melanie has finally admitted to having a little problem with pills, the bottle and and some other unamed drugs. What the fuck about plastic surgery? It looks more like her lips have been addicted to pool drains more than anything else.
Poor Antonio Banderas must be pissed as hell that he married that wreck. He had a chance to marry Madonna! I hope that she has a reality show on VH1 chronicling her road to sobriety. Let's keep our fingers crossed.