WWJD? NO WAY! WWOD

If you haven't heard by now, it seems that Jessica Simpson wasted no time catching up on all the years she squandered by not being a total fucking whore. She was spotted leaving the Chateau Marmont last week after reportedly staying the night in Adam Levine (Marroon 5)'s room.

This weekend Steven Soderbergh opened his revolutionary new business plan for the future of filmaking. His new film "Bubble" opened in limited release this past weekend. The catch is it also is released on DVD on Tuesday 1/31 as well as it becoming available on Pay-Per-View over the weekend. Most movie theatres are trying to destroy his plan by protesting the films release in their theatres. Problem is, you should see it. Soderbergh is a great director, the movie is getting excellent reviews, and it is different. Kudos to you Soderbergh for thinking outside the bun...I mean box. With the recent slump in box office sales, someone needs to!

What the fuck is wrong with Lindsay Lohan? ONCE AGAIN she was hospitalized, this time in London after apparently cutting her shin after slipping on a staircase after a shower at Bryan Adams' house. Wow. There are so many things wrong with that last sentence I don't eve know where to begin...but I'll try.
a. What was Lindsay Lohan doing at Bryan Adams house?
b. Why was she getting out of the shower?
c. How long until one of these hospital trips finally ends with her rapidly approaching death by idiocy?
d. What the fuck was going on with the whole ceramic teacup shit her mom was spouting in this article?

That girl has the"Most likely to become the female Brad Renfro" award in the bag!



Proof that America loves crazy has been found in a recent poll that sates that movie exhibitors name Tom Cruise the top box office draw of 2005.


Paris Hilton has been revealed to be an idiot. During a recent court trial convicting her of slander and libel, she admitted to not knowing that London was in the United Kingdom as well as holding the belief that all people in Europe speak French. I am glad that it took a court of law to declare Hilton an idiot, something that the general public has held as a common belief since her admittance into pop culture in 2001.


And lastly, the woman who had the world's first successful face transplant has been photographed.



Back to the drawing board...


Check out today's Oprah show, a follow up on the bank robbing dad whose sons turned him in!
Also, Oprah celebrated her 52nd birthday over the weekend! So HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOMEGIRL!


Peace, Love and Oprah
(hang in there, Mondays are rough)

UH OH(prah)

OH SHIT Y'ALL! WOAH-WOAH-OPRAH IS NOT HAPPY!!!
She brought that wiley motherfucker James Frey and was like
"uh-uh nigga', nobody lies to me" and he was like "Oprah, what are you talking about?" and she was like "Bitch PUH-LEEZE! You don't think I got more employees than the CIA? Don't go there" and then he was like, "So what? I lied...whats the big deal?" And then Oprah was all up in his shit like "Boy! The big deal is you made ME look like a fool....and you do NOT go from a poor black ghetto chile who didn't own shoes until age seven to a billionaire media-darling in one lifetime by being no fool". Then James Frey quickly saw his sales plummet. Then Oprah heated up a spoon full of black tar heroin, filled the syringe and gave him a good ole' shot of his own medicine.



Listen peeps, do NOT piss off the "O". She is not going to let it slide. For all you doubters out there who were like, "Oh, Oprah is so full of it", "Oh, Oprah got served" well guess what, she brought that liar back on the show and made a fool out of him on national television. So UH! double-up UH! UH!
You better BELIEVE it's times like these that I thank GOD that Oprah is my homegirl!

Here are just a few of the stories today that Oprah Generated
The New York Times
The Drudge Report
The Smoking Gun
CNN




So, Today Nicole Kidman was announced as the UN's Ambassador of Goodwill. She will be replacing Angelina Jolie. Now, what I can't figure out is when the UN started hostin MISS AMERICA. What the Frick? Neither one of these ladies has done anymore than anyone else to help spread Goodwill. In fact, Nicole Kidman has been way too busy making mediocre summer blockbusters and Angelina has been way too busy destroying marriages to spread any Goodwill. And why don't we ask Jennifer Aniston who if Angelina has spread much good will this year. I think that she just might disagree.
And then there is poor Mother Theresa who was NEVER an Ambassador of Goodwill. What's up with that? Just because she looked like the Wicked Witch of the Wests frumpy younger sister the UN totally stiffed her, but Angelina picks up a kid or two along the way in her travels across every five star hotel in the world and she's so "empathetic" and "sincere". Give me a break.

So are you wondering what to do this weekend if you are here in Los Angeles? Here are a few suggestions

Why not go to Larchmont on Sunday. They have a kick-ass Farmer's Market.

Or what about the Melrose Trading Post over in the parking lot of Fairfax High School on Sunday afternoon. It's has everything you could ever want, and even more of stuff you don't want!

Why not take a walk up in Bronson Canyon? You are bound to run into Jake Gyllanhaal walking his dogs

OH! Plus, if you like French food, no place in town is better than Cafe Midi on LaBrea, right next to my favorite store American Rag which carries everything from vintage Lacoste shirts to next seasons hottest designer duds. Check it out guys! And be safe!

Sorry to keep it so short today guys, but it's been a long week, hasn't it? Well, I will save up all my energy so I can hook up a couple of hot posts next week for you all! I wanted to tell you all one last thing:


Have a great weekend!


Peace Love and Oprah

Oops, I did it again!

Welcome back kids. Thanks for your continued support of me and my random thoughts throughout the day. As you peruse the twisted perversions of my psyche, please feel free to click on any and all ads that may appear on my blog, for therein lies my pot of gold. Hey, if you're good I might just treat you to dinner one of these nights. But chances are that I will just end up bumming five bucks off of you to score some Jack in the Box this weekend....don't say I didn't warn you!

Lots to do peeps, come on now, hurry up....you too, little one!



So here is a story about a guy who beat up his own grandmother because she wouldn't buy him beer. That is so fucked up. I can't believe his grandmother wouldn't buy him beer.











Ok, I know...at first you may be saying....WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT LITTLE RADIOACTIVE RAT!?! Well its a one eyed cat that was recently born (and unfortunately died soon thereafter). But if you take a minute, it's kind of cute. The way its resting its little head on its hand. And look how small it is....Its comfortably sleeping in the palm of some dude's hand (or dudette). Look at the way it just stares at you with that one big ass eye. Some people may think its weird but I think its super cute. I bet if there were any more Paris Hilton would have one because they are rare and therefore probably expensive. Then again, Paris might relate with the Cyclops-cat. They are both strange little anomalies of nature that are palmed by strange men.
Read the whole story here




It was reported that Kate Moss is expected to pen an autobiography with Sir Richard Branson, some eccentric billionaire. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am all up on KM like white on rice, but I hate models who talk. I like them to look like glorified clothes hangers and guess what....clothes hangers don't write books! I mean when did models start having something interesting to say? A models job, by definition, is to look pretty....so whats with all the chatter? Just stand there and look pretty, bitch. Ugh!
(The topless pic is for the boys...you're welcome)



Oh Lordy, what, may I ask, has Mariah gotten herself into this time? It appears that Mariah was seen posing for pictures with a homeless man outside Sushi hot-spot Koi in Los Angeles. I love Mariah, but I just don't get this picture. Clearly this man is not interested in her celebrity nor wealth. He just wants to roll around and smoke. She, on the other hand seems thrilled to be chillin' with him. Plus I bet he's annoyed that she has total sushi breath. I can't tell if MC is being bitchy in this picture and degrading the homeless guy or if she needs another trip to "Conneticut" for a "vacation". By the way, who the F@%K wears that kinda Grammy award concoction to go out for dinner....on La Cienega, no less! Mariah is always walking that fine line between crazy and crazy/beautiful





Isn't that picture cute. I don't know why I am posting it, I just think it's funny. NO MOTHERFUCKERS, it isn't dead. Its just sleeping....like a little angel-cupcake. Sometimes when I am sitting at the computer during the day I think about this picture and wish that I was that monkey...is that weird? eek!





Last nights Project Runway was pretty good. I am so glad Daniel V. won. I am so madly in love with him. I love the whole Adrian Brody in Silverlake thing he has going. And what the FUCK was up with Jay? He is so pompous and snobby now. That's not allowed! He is neither rich NOR attractive!








So, today Oprah is having James Frey on her show with some critics of the book he wrote. There was some drama regarding the validity of the novel, which went on to be chosen for Oprah's prestigious Book Club. Don't you see! Oprah does not back down! She rocks. When something is shady, guess what...she gets to the bottom of things! No bullshit! I am so glad she is my homegirl.
(There, Jason)


Peace, Love and Oprah

Oh, Snap!

Welcome back my little lieblings! I hope that I have whet your appetites for gossip, current affairs and whatever else my little brain can hatch! But, I digress, and there is much to talk about and little time to spare....off we go.

So Donald Trump is suing some dude for 5 billion dollars for claiming that he isn't a billionaire. Donald is so extra'd out sometimes. I mean, really, is it that insulting to be accused of NOT being a billionaire? If I was a billionaire and somebody had the "audacity" to accuse me of not being rich as hell, guess what, i would go home and buy an island and a modest private jet....duh!

Well, today the news broke that perhaps Jude didn't leave Sienna after all....she has been spotted canoodling with Hayden Christensen on the set of their movie "Factory Girl" about Andy Warhol's factory. But wait, isn't Hayden gay? I mean I saw him at a bar once with a suspiciously attractive personal assistant. Whatever, I wish them both the best with their movies and their faux-ro...(romance, that is). Looks like maybe Jude wasn't proudly going home but instead was scurrying to find shelter with his tail between his legs.

Are you just soooo over having to take out a second mortgage to buy a cute sweatshirt in this God forsaken town? Worry no more!!! H and M is finally making its way to the left coast! They are opening two stores in Southern Cal after the enormous success of the New York City and San Francisco stores. The new locations will be the Beverly Center and Old Town Pasadena. I personally love some of the stuff and who cares if it unravels after you wash it twice its super cheap...and God knows that American Apparel is gettin SO tired....oh, snap!

Here are a couple creepy and silly things I promised some friends.

This guy is named The Goddess Bunny. Its really spooky and macabre. Very David Lynch..eek! Apparently s/he has been accumulating a large underground following. Don't be scared.....check it out!

Here is a picture that my roomate emailed me. Funny right? Thanks Joe!

And lastly, word from Sundance. Apparently everyone is enjoying themselves out in Utah. Some people are enjoying themselves a wee bit too much. It's been reported that a publicist from Harrison Shriftman (A PR Firm) overdosed on Monday night. Nothing can ruin a night of free shwag more than convulsing naked on the carpet of your hotel room without a wooden spoon to chew on.

And just a reminder, today's Oprah covers Bird Flu. I have a feeling that Oprah is going to surprise a lucky bird flu victim with a brand new immune system. I bet when people accuse Oprah of not being a billionaire (which would be retarded....the woman sweats parking meter change) she would laugh at them and then eat them. Ah, Oprah....I'm so glad to say that you are my homegirl

Peace Love and Oprah

FIRST

Welcome one, Welcome all to my blog:
Oprah is my Homegirl, because, well....she is! For those of you who know me, you know my love of Oprah is as deep as the ocean and as wide as the sea. For those of you who don't know me....you shall soon understand. Regardless, lets get down to business kiddies. There is a lot to talk about.






I hate when Oprah has episodes like today's. "What should we REALLY be worried about?" I realize in the wake of the Bin Laden tape we should all stop and take a moment to ponder the fact that we are all more vulnerable than we would care to think. But who cares, Oprah is more powerful than that. She should not be propagating this media mish mash! This is a conservative manipulation tool and I don't like it! Oprah should be reminding us that life is too short to be scared all the time! Oprah should remind us that life is about Ralph Lauren robes and free cars for poor people. Oprah should interview celebrities and ask Angelina why she was blood-wearing brother kisser a year ago and now she's a little Miss United Nations. Come on Oprah, don't freak me out.
Catch tomorrow's episode too guys, its part two that talks about bird flu. eeek!

I hate to be so negative on my first post, but I can criticize and tell the truth 'cause guess what....Oprah is my Homegirl!





In other celebrity news, today it was reported that Jude Law left Sienna Miller for his first wife and mother of his children, Sadie Frost. Oh, Jude! Can it be? Did you really ditch Britain's version of Paris Hilton? For Posh Spices best friend, yet? Oy! Well I guess anything was better than that lard-o babysitter he was boinking. Ugh. See guys, just because someone is adorable and charming and has a funny little accent doesn't mean they are a good person. In fact, if you happen to meet that criteria, chances are you NOT going to be a good person. Chances are you will be a fop.





Now it's time for
RESTAURANT RECOMMENDATION
Today at my day job a client bought us food from LaLa's Argentinean Grill in Los Angeles. It was pretty good. I got the chorizo sandwich cause I love sausage (insert sexual innuendo here) and some french fries. The sandwich was so-so but the fries were delicious! If you're ever in LA or you're reading this from work, I would recommend giving the place a go. My boss had a salad and loved it.




And lastly, lets not forget that for those of us in LA we can breathe a little easier this week for all the movie stars have evacuated. Yes, Sundance is taking place in Park City, UT all week where the overly commercial "independent" films will look to find someone to buy them up and distribute them amongst the masses. For those of us left in LA that means we might actually have a chance of getting into Teddy's on Thursday night. Well....maybe.


Peace, Love and Oprah

MB

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