MORE TITS FOR MORE HITS

Once again, my hits have been falling a bit, so once again, I have to lure you all back with pictures of tits. Here is Mischa showing a surprisingly nice looking tit. Congrats, Mischa, you beat LiLo.

Enjoy, gents, this is to make up for the Jake G. post from Thursday.

Click on the picture to enlarge.

JESSICA SIMPSON GOES THROUGH PUBERTY

Apparently Jessica Simpson is doing everything backwards. After getting married and leading the "monogomous" life she has decided to SLUT IT FORWARD.

Here is some of the latest gossip regarding her trampy travels across our fair city.

After her apparent "loud" romp at the Chateau, she and Adam Levine seemed to be heading in the direction of a relationship. But, behind those huge tits and white teeth lies the brain of a down-syndrome kid in a coma, so he played her like a fiddle and broke up with her VIA TEXT! DAMN, BITCH, YOU GOT PUNK'D:

This week's Star is supposedly going to report that Adam Levine broke up with Jessica Simpson via a text message that said: "Really busy. Need Space."

It all started when Levine blew-off their Valentine’s Day date as Jess pressured him for answers. It took a while to sink in and when it did, she told her best friend, "I just got dumped." And by text message, no less. Ouch! Not that Simpson will have trouble finding companionship. A source tells Star that she and British heartthrob Jude Law have been calling each other non-stop – even though they’re thousands of miles apart.
I understand she's a little on the stupid side, but when you're as hot as Jessica Simpson you don't deserve to be dumped until you become horribly disfigured or old. Instead of breaking up with her via text message, Adam should have gone with my method of choice: wear them down with so much sex that they're forced to end the relationship by doctor's orders. source


Then came the Jude Law debacle where she was seen spotting canoodling at Shutters in Santa Monica and then later AT THE CHATEAU! Wow, thats pretty ballsy of you!

Now she is apparently seeing Greg Coolidge, the director of her upcoming film, Employee of the Month.

WELCOME BACK AMERICAS NEXT TOP MODEL!

Meet the Ladies Here

SPEECHLESS

So, I found these pictures from the DVD extras on Jake G.'s movie Jarhead. I probably won't post for till later this afternoon as I will be masturbating under my desk for the remainder of the morning and early afternoon.

OH MY GOD

PROJECT RUNWAY FINALE...

Wow, so Chloe won. Last nights season finale was really and truly disappointing and anti-climactic. All three of the designers lines were less than impressive. Daniel's was boring/snoring...very Banana Republic and safe; Chloe's outfits had beautiful cuts and looked very finished and polished but had ugly fabrics and were too "matchy matchy" as Heidi noted; Santino picked the wrong time to show a different side of his designing style. The judges were really not impressed and you could tell. And WTF Debra Messing, don't swoop in on the LAST episode and try to assert some power like we care what you have to say....is she the fashion editor at Elle? I think not!

She must have read my trend alert on the Oscar blog, cause Chloe is totally sporting the pocket dresses!

I love the cut of the dress, but the fabrics were a little old lady-ish and dated. She really knows how to dress a woman's body. The curving seams were cool as well.

Here is a picture of Chloe with her 30 sisters. For some reason I get a huge kick out of this picture....it is just sooooooooo stereotypically Asian. Is that racist?

SHOCKER! THE BACHELORETTE COUPLE WERE FAKING FOR THE CAMERAS! GASP!

Humphrey Bogart said it to Ingrid Bergman in "Casablanca" and now Dr. Travis Stork can say it to Sarah Stone: "We'll always have Paris."

Stork, an emergency room physician, chose Stone, an elementary school teacher, in the finale of ABC's "The Bachelor: Paris" last week.

The couple told The Tennessean in a joint interview Monday they are no longer a couple.

Stork, 33, said the rules that prohibited them from dating or being together in public between the end of the show's taping in November and the Feb. 27 finale were hard on their relationship.

The France-set "Bachelor" deployed 25 women to vie for Stork's affections during a series of glamorous dates. The season began in January.

"You're in Paris and you're part of this incredible experience, this fantasy world, and then suddenly you come back to Nashville, and living in the same city I think we thought was going to be a great thing," he said. "But instead, you're forced to pretend you don't know someone, for essentially the last four months.

"The reality is that we were in this fantasy world. And now that we're back in Nashville, over time when you're not allowed to see someone, you grow apart."

Stone, 26, said, "I definitely think it would've worked out differently" if she and Stork had met and dated under different circumstances.

"We wouldn't have had all the baggage that comes from being on this show. It would just be the two of us being able to hang out and get to know each other in a normal situation," she said.

Both said they remain single and unattached and that they had no regrets about doing the show.

"Through this time, we realized that it was a great experience in Paris and that we're so lucky to have met one another in Paris, and we'll never forget that," Stone said. "And we both agree and know that we'll be friends forever."

Asked if they might reconnect romantically after publicity has died down, both just laughed.

source

DONALD TRUMP WANTS TO BONE HIS DAUGHTER

Donald Trump joked that he would date his 24-year-old daughter, Ivanka - if he weren't her father.

Trump and Ivanka, a vice president of real estate development at the Trump Organization, appeared Monday on ABC's "The View" to promote her five-episode stint as a boardroom adviser on "The Apprentice."

When asked how he would react if Ivanka, a former teen model, posed for Playboy, Trump replied, "It would be really disappointing - not really - but it would depend on what's inside the magazine."

He added: "I don't think Ivanka would do that, although she does have a very nice figure. I've said if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her."

His comments drew laughs from the audience, and prompted "View" co-host Joy Behar to crack, "Who are you, Woody Allen?"

Trump's representative, Jim Dowd, told The Associated Press on Tuesday that Trump "was absolutely joking."

"He was making fun of himself for his tendency to date younger women," Dowd said. "It's a sense of humor that people don't see (from him) all the time."

Ivanka and her brother Donald Jr. are filling in for Carolyn Kepcher and George Ross for multiple episodes of "The Apprentice" reality show, which airs Mondays on NBC (9 p.m. EST).

Trump's 35-year-old wife, Melania, is expecting the couple's first child this spring.

source

JAKE DRUNK AT THE OSCARS

Umm, these pictures of Jake drunk at the Oscars are pretty fucking hysterical. I like that when it comes down to it, Jake just wanted to make it through the boring ass ceremony and get trashed at the after parties. I wonder if Uma was like, "Ew that annoying Jake boy needs to take it down a notch!"
These pictures prove that Hollywood is really just high school with seven-figure salaries.

peaceloveandoprah

YOUR COMMENTS

Wow, I would love to hear your comments on this pic.

Can we also talk about how no REAL celebrities went to the Oscars:
Here is a list of those who were too cool for school:

1. Julia Roberts
2. Tom Cruise
3. Halle Berry
4. Sean Penn
5. Cameron Diaz
6. Brad Pitt
7. Angelina Jolie (maybe to be kind to our manly friend, Jennifer)
8. Ben Affleck
9. Matt Damon
10. Leonardo DiCaprio
11. Tobey Maguire
12. Johnny Depp
and of course...
13. Oprah

Hey, but Keanu Reeves freed up some time in his busy schedule to attend...

SHARON STONE...CUTE BUTTERFLIES ON THE SHOULDER

Wow, Sharon Stone has really let herself go.
First of all, that outfit is disgusting...the butterflies on the shoulder are ridiculous.
Secondly, bitch needs a new hairstylist...that bouffant is fugly!
Third...It's called botox...get rid of of those wrinkles...
Fourth, the eye make-up needs some serious work
and Lastly...those earings are wretched.

I have met her stylist and she is a huge pill-popper....maybe that's the explanation...

LINDSAY LOHAN HAS TOO MANY FRECKLES

Look at how skinny and freckly this bitch is. Her back is like a connect the dot's puzzle gone wrong. She is such a fucking disaster....and I love that we all have front row seats. Enjoy while it lasts.....Look at that arm, she looks like she is dying of cancer or something...Could you imagine fucking her? I'd be scared I would break her. Oh, and her teeth look yellow as cat piss.

BRITNEY SPEARS IS GLAMOROUS

Wow....look at the glowing skin and that silky soft hair. Can you boys believe that you pulled your pud to this nasty shit? Ick!

YANNI ARESTED....AND LOOKING GOOD!

Wow, Yanni was arrested yesterday on a domestic violence dispute. Is it wrong that I actually think that Yanni is cute in this picture? And I think it's hot that he's a musician and beats his woman. Rock on Yanni! Play that piano, piano man!

JESSICA ALBA IS ANOREXIC

Jessica looks sick as hell. I know that most straight guys won't give a shit, if they even notice, that she is noticably thinner! She used to be so sexy and voluptuous and now she looks all bony and Mischa Barton'd out.




She looks as gold as the Oscar statuette as well. Look at those strained muscles in her neck. I bet they are exhausted from expelling food from her stomach.




Here is a picture of my future prediction of Jessica's look for next years Oscars..I like that she is wearing a cute bow tie.

CRASH!?!?

Naomi Watts looked good, if not a little too frilly. The front was a little extra'd out.



What the fuck was Chalize Theron thinking? It looks super boxy and the bow on the side is wretched. Dismal!



Trend Alert: Bow ties! He is such a queerball.



Jennifer Aniston looks drunk and sad. I am so over her Calvin Klein boring black dress phase...
Can you blame her?



Reese looks like a little Kentucky Fried Chicken! She looks like a wedding cake for Gods sake. Too too too too much.



Jennifer Lopez looks amazing as always! Great color and she is perfectly tan! Not orange at all! Great jewlery too...Yum
Jessica Alba...look into your future.



Amy Adams, I am not really feeling this dress...sorry, loser...



Michelle looked stunning. The cut of the dress was SICK and the color was really bold....and she totally pulled it off...Great hair!



Trend Alert: Pockets



Uma, I am confused... Mars thought she looked good...what do you think?



Why was Lisa Rinna there?


Here is a complete list of winners from last nights event:

Best Motion Picture of the Year
Winner: Crash (2004) - Paul Haggis, Cathy Schulman

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Winner: Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote (2005)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Winner: Reese Witherspoon for Walk the Line (2005)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Winner: George Clooney for Syriana (2005)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Winner: Rachel Weisz for The Constant Gardener (2005)

Best Achievement in Directing
Winner: Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain (2005)

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen
Winner: Crash (2004) - Paul Haggis, Robert Moresco

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published
Winner: Brokeback Mountain (2005) - Larry McMurtry, Diana Ossana

Best Achievement in Cinematography
Winner: Memoirs of a Geisha (2005) - Dion Beebe

Best Achievement in Editing
Winner: Crash (2004) - Hughes Winborne

Best Achievement in Art Direction
Winner: Memoirs of a Geisha (2005) - John Myhre, Gretchen Rau

Best Achievement in Costume Design
Winner: Memoirs of a Geisha (2005) - Colleen Atwood

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score
Winner: Brokeback Mountain (2005) - Gustavo Santaolalla

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song
Winner: Hustle & Flow (2005) - Jordan Houston, Cedric Coleman, Paul Beauregard("It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp")

Best Achievement in Makeup
Winner: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005) - Howard Berger, Tami Lane

Best Achievement in Sound
Winner: King Kong (2005) - Christopher Boyes, Michael Semanick, Michael Hedges, Hammond Peek

Best Achievement in Sound Editing
Winner: King Kong (2005) - Mike Hopkins, Ethan Van der Ryn

Best Achievement in Visual Effects
Winner: King Kong (2005) - Joe Letteri, Brian Van't Hul, Christian Rivers, Richard Taylor

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year
Winner: Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005) - Steve Box, Nick Park

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
Winner: Tsotsi (2005) - Gavin Hood(South Africa)

Best Documentary, Features
Winner: Marche de l'empereur, La (2005) - Luc Jacquet, Yves Darondeau

Best Documentary, Short Subjects
Winner: A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age of Norman Corwin (2005) - Corinne Marrinan, Eric Simonson

Best Short Film, Animated
Winner: The Moon and the Son (2005) - John Canemaker, Peggy Stern

Best Short Film, Live Action
Winner: Six Shooter (2005) - Martin McDonagh



What the fuck was Gayle doing there without her lover/best friend/my homegirl Oprah? Oprah is so crazy, she was invited to the Oscars and then JUST DIDN'T GO...



Although he has been getting a little flack, I thought Jon Stewart was a great host. He defiinitely kept the show moving and he even mentioned $cientology, which I thought was a semi-bold move...




By the way, Dolly was FABULOUS! She doenst sound like she's a million years old at all! I totally dug her song and her quirky energy! Keep on keepin' on



And here is a picture of that crack head Gary Busey just for the hell of it.