Freaky Friday

Hey kids! Happy Presidents day weekend to all! Enjoy the three-day weekend...I know I will =)

Thanks to MJ and the lovely ladies at Full Picture for a lovely time last night at their soiree at Fred Segal last night. The booze was free, the women were loose and the boys were pouting in full force. Bravo! The party was to preview Victor Alfaro's new collection of cocktail dresses. The party was also sponsored by V magazine (which I personally love) and had MARIAH (woo woo) on the cover with the title "V Belong Together"! How clever! I just love me some puns.







The party also featured some HOT boys serving some smooth drinks thanks to Gran Centenario Tequila. MMMMMM! It definitely hit the spot!

OPRAH VS. HOWARD....

Howard Stern proclaims himself King of All Media, but he's clearly a pretender next to Media Empress Oprah Winfrey. A huge force in broadcast television, Oprah has a snazzy Web site, a glossy magazine. Her book-club picks stimulate millions of book sales. She's acted in films like The Color Purple and Beloved, and produced TV movies. According to Forbes, Oprah tops the list of the nation's most powerful celebrities, while Stern checks in at a lowly 27th. Oprah comfortably makes the Forbes list of the richest Americans, with a fortune estimated at $1.4 billion.
You'd expect she would reign over Howard in space, too, but investors in satellite radio don't seem to think she will. Based on the first two days of stock trading after the respective big shots announced satellite radio deals, it's clear that Howard is worth at least four times more than Oprah.
Yesterday, XM Satellite Radio announced a three-year deal with Oprah, reported to be worth $55 million, to bring the talk-show host and her friends to the satellite radio service later this fall. The move was a major coup for XM, which has been engaged in a long-running programming battle with rival Sirius.SOURCE

Well, this pretty much explains it all....Oprah is amazing, duh! But did anyone catch yesterdays epidsode...it was C R A Z Y....this boy got like sucked into doing internet porn when he was like 13 and then kids at his school found out so he moved to Mexico where his dad lived and then (this is the crazy part) the DAD helped run a website starring his son! Crazy. God, Oprah never disappoints.


peaceloveandoprah

Bruce Willis has jumped to the defense of controversial author James Frey, declaring he was unfairly attacked on Oprah Winfrey's TV show last month. Frey has been criticized for embellishing parts of his best-selling book, A Million Little Pieces, which was originally billed as a memoir. The Die Hard star says on TV show Access Hollywood, "Look at what happened to James Frey in the last two weeks. That's a great book and so is the follow-up book. And just because his publisher chose to say that these were memoirs, it took it out of being a great work of fiction... to this guy having to go be sucker punched on Oprah by one of the most powerful women in television, just to grind her own axe about it. Hey, Oprah. You had President (Bill Clinton) on your show and if this prick didn't lie about a couple of things, I'm going to set myself on fire right now. James Frey is a writer, OK? He can write about whatever he wants. It's fiction. It's just shameful how he was treated in some of these things." SOURCE

Oh, Bruce, you had better STEP THE FUCK OFF! DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT FUCK WITH OPRAH....what is that bald mf trying to do? I mean, the only way Oprah would even have him on her show is if they cut to you sitting in the studio audience while Demi and Ashton were talking about what a fucking-bald-Lindsay-Lohan-fucking-loser he is. EEK! I mean, I realize that his career is officially on the outs, but why would you go out and talk shit about Oprah, who could destroy you with one fell swoop. Dumbass.

Brucie....a word of advice....don't FUCK with the homegirl


p e a c e l o v e a n d o p r a h

PARIS HILTON TYPECASTING....

Socialite Paris Hilton has reportedly been asked to play celebrated
humanitarian Mother Teresa in a movie biopic. Indian director T.
Rajeevnath has contacted the hotel heiress about taking the lead role
in his new film, which will chronicle the late nun's life. He tells
MTV.co.uk, "My agents in California have contacted Paris Hilton.
Although there are several actresses willing to play the role of
Mother Teresa, the most widely respected and loved person, the
history of the actress who is finally chosen for the role would have
to be analyzed thoroughly before she is chosen."

Wow, what the fuck? Why would you want to fuck over your movie like this? Thats like having Paul Walker playing the Dalai Lama. AND from an acting standpoint, how is she going to relate with Mother Teresa? I mean, I know that Paris really wowed us in "House of Wax" and all, but how is she supposed to relate to being poor AND selfless? The fucking director Rajand;alsdlasghahoei is a moron, off the record. So look at the pic guys. Thats Mother Teresa for you....I'm sure the real MT is wondering what she did in her life to deserve this punishment.

BAD BODE!

So Bode was disqualified from his Slalom race for stradling the gate (don't ask me) yesterday. That, though, is not my true concern. Bode, it was later reported, after a race in a different category, hitched a ride home from a native Italian and her 13 year old son. And not just any home, but his RV that he shares with his friends. Bode, I believe, is the official celebrity of this years Olympic games. You may notice that America is so obsessed with celebrity that we must pick out the most-likely-to-pose-for-an-Abercrombie-ad and throw them into the media spotlight, if only to attract people to the games. Bode Miller is this years celebrity of the moment. He's young and sexy and cocky....everything America loves. Well, congrats Bode....live it up now, while you have the chance, because remember what happened to 2004's swimming star Micheal Phelps? Yeah, neither do I.

YOU"RE NOT THAT UGLY!

Hey guys, thanks to my pal Holly I have some special pics just for you guys. I am sure that those of you who didn't have a Valentine are thinking....why can't I just look like a movie star? Well, I hate to break it to you but even movie stars don't look like movie stars. Don't believe me?








yikes!













oops!

















woah!










ew!














gross!


















well shit! what the fuck, they can't ALL be ugly! That bitch....whatever, her husband STILL cheated on her! ouch! eek!

Think about these pics next time you flip through Vanity Fair or spend 12 bucks on a movie. Cameron has nasty ass skin, just like the rest of us!! Hooray!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY....(insert sad face here)

SPLITSVILLE!

So yeah, it would seem that (according to Life & Style, most reliable source, second only to the Associated Press) Tom and Katie might not be as happy as they appear ( and by happy, I mean that Tom looks crazed and Katie looks petrified). Apparently they have decided to call off the wedding but will keep up appearances until the "birth" of their child. I bet that stomach is just a really amazing special effects sort of deal. I bet that when the time comes, something fishy is going to happen....wow, thats kind of fucked up for me to say, huh? eek.
Here is a quote from Life & Style regarding their plan to keep up the appearance of a relationship until the "birth" of Tom or Katie Jr. ( I don't know why I keep putting "birth" in quotation marks).

"In the meantime, the couple will live in his Beverly Hills home - though sleeping in separate bedrooms - through the summer. Then, presumably, they'll announce a separation - but Tom plans to buy Katie a home nearby so he can visit his child whenever he wishes. 'They'll share custody,' says the friend, who claims the couple are drawing up a legal document to provide for Katie’s and the baby’s financial well-being for life. 'Tom will set up Katie and the baby,' adds the pal"

Wowza...this is the best Valentine day gift EVER!

My (ahem) other Valentine

These exclusive pictures of my (many) true love in his new film London have been released. This post, my friends, is for the ladies ( and the boys who like to hang out with the ladies and watch "Sex and the City and pick at each others' cuticles)

UMMMM









WHAT



THE




FUUUUUCK?

Well, the film has gotten disappointing reviews to say the least.

"I haven't seen so much nasty stuff ingested by so many people since ... well, college. But at least the folks like this that I used to know were kind enough to overdose at a certain point; here, they just keep talking. Or, more accurately, whining."-- Bob Strauss, LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS

"Let's hope this movie hasn't come out too early in the year to be remembered for a well-deserved Razzie."-- Timothy Knight, REEL.COM

"I've seen more ferocious, and entertaining, spectacles at Raffi concerts."-- Chris Cabin, FILMCRITIC.COM

Hot Damn! That is FUCKED UP! A RAFFI concert? I mean, come on, it couldn't have been that bad.....could it have?
Well regardless, guess who is definitely going to see it? Thats right, guys....me.

Valentines Day...Hollywood Style

Hey everyone Happy Valentines Day to all. I hope you all have Valentines to make your day special. If not, say FUCK YOU to the world and get smashed tonight. I, personally, have a Valentine and it's not who you might expect! Woo Woo! A little mystery never hurt anyone. Oh, God, who really gives a flip about this silly holiday anyways? Here are some amusing celebrity Valentines I found on Gallery of the Absurd. They are really mean, but REALLY dead on! LOVES IT!

This one of Paris is killer! I love that it is just all about her. I don't know if you can tell but in the background it say things like "I am so beautiful" and "Everyone wants to be me", etc. It's creepy how on point this thing is!

I love that the Olsen sister one makes them look like monkeys, because now that I think about it THEY TOTALLY DO! And not in a bad way, they just resemble little alien monkeys.

But cute....=/

Wow, this one is INCREDIBLE! It totally captures what TC is all about! First of all, they address the short issue with his platform shoes, next they deal with the fact that he is totally possesive and that his "relationships" seem totally staged and self serving. And then, the ALIEN PEN says to sign his Valentine with THE BLOOD OF XENU! Oh my God! I'm totally nervous publicly publishing anything regarding anyone's affiliation with $cientology! If I am found dead tomorrow, please investigate!

The only Valentine missing is the one to the big O herself. Well, you all know that I am sending out a special Valentine's day wish to her today. Oprah! Happy V-day Homegirl!

PeaceLoveandOprah

APPARENTLY BEING GAY OR FAT IS BAD FOR YOUR MUSIC CAREER

So Virgin Records have recently seen photos of Janet Jackson plus a little extra weight and have POSTPONED the release of her next album until she can drop twenty pounds. How fucked up is that!?!? I mean, I admit that Janet is looking a little dowdy/frumpy lately, but if she rocks out a hot album, guess what? I will go online and download that shit for free! So there! I hope that all the downloading forces all the major labels to collapse and then talent, and not weight will prevail.








Also, that huge has QUEER BALL Clay Aiken (aka Gay Aiken or Clay Gayken) has had his album put on hold as well because of allegation from John Paulus, a former Green Beret (what do they do anyways?). Now, this is way more understanable than the weight issue, because the Gaiken makes terrible elevator music that only 40 year old women with three cats listen to, so obviously, he must be destroyed. Please see the picture below.


I mean, is this picture for real? Genius. Thanks Perez!

OLYMPICS SUCK

Wow, these Olympics are terrible! Its been bad news bears since the opening ceremony. First of all, the whole Alps theme in the opening ceremony was bizarre to me. There were these sparks of passion guys who were ice skaing around with huge flames on their heads and these ice skating trees. It was very conceptial and gay. Bottom line....HATED IT!


Then, Michelle Kwan withdrew herself from the Olympics due to two pulled groin muscles! What a fuckin' baby. J/K. Her press meeting was pretty sad, since she's never won the gold and this would be her last chance seeing as next year she would be way to old. God, it is C R A Z Y that she is 25 and this is the last time she could feasibly perform at the Olympics. So fuckin' sad. Those Asians are usually so good about coming through in the clutch!



The one redeeming thing about the Olympics is Bode(Boe-dee) Miller who is cocky, arrogant, reckless, American and sexy as hell. He is all about winning and lacks the technique and control but he is wild and always makes for a fun run. He already won silver in 2002 and is going for the gold, baby! Good luck hot sexy American!

Manic Monday

Hey guys! Hope everyone had an awesome weekend. Mine was fine, thanks for asking! Anyways...

Here is a cool site Michael told me about called witty comics. Its pretty funny, you can make your own weird comics. Here is what I came up with.

So this weekend, Vice President Cheney apparently sprayed a hunter with bullets across his FACE AND CHEST! I, personally, LOVE IT! He will totally fuck with terrorists and/or Aliens if they ever try to invade our country! He is soooo balls to the walls.


I mean, the media, of course, is trying to make Vice President Snarly-Snarlerton sound all innocent. He "accidently" hit this guy...la di da.....
I am so sure. Just like he accidently slapped his daughter when she told him she was gay! Woah, that was harsh, huh?

Anyways, my new format of continually posting through the day is officially underway...so check back later, some other news might have come up!

peaceloveandoprah